Self-injury.

Self-injury counseling is for people who hurt their own bodies, and for parents who have found out that a child is doing so.

A counselor will not ask you to manage this alone. Call us and say what is happening, in whatever words you have.

What self-injury is, and why people do it.

Self-injury means hurting your own body on purpose, often by cutting, burning, scratching, or hitting. Most often, it is a way of coping with feelings that seem too big to handle. Some people say it brings a moment of relief, a sense of control, or a way to feel something when they feel numb.

Self-injury is more common than many people realize, and it affects teens and adults. It usually happens in private, and it often comes with a lot of shame. If you are hurting yourself, you are not bad or broken. You are in pain, and you deserve care.

If you are a parent who has just found out, you may feel scared, shocked, or guilty. Those feelings are understandable. Staying calm and caring, and reaching out for help, is a strong first step.

Signs that someone may be hurting themselves.

Self-injury is often hidden. Signs can include:

• unexplained cuts, burns, bruises, or scars, often on arms, legs, or stomach
• wearing long sleeves or pants even in warm weather
• keeping sharp objects or spending long periods alone
• frequent explanations of "accidents"
• strong feelings that seem to build up and then suddenly ease
• pulling away from family or friends, or seeming flat or overwhelmed
• harsh words about themselves, like "I deserve it"

How we help, without shame.

We meet you with care, not alarm or judgment. Your first session is a conversation about what has been happening and what you hope will change.

Safety comes first. Your therapist will talk with you about how to stay safe and what to do when the urge is strong. From there, the work may include:

• Understanding the pattern. What happens before, during, and after, and what self-injury has been helping you cope with.
• New ways to cope. Practical skills for calming intense feelings, grounding yourself in the moment, and riding out urges.
• Working with thoughts. We help you work with harsh self-talk and gently interrupt the cycle that leads to hurting yourself.
• Looking underneath. Self-injury is often connected to other pain, like anxiety, depression, trauma, or loss. There is room to explore that.
• Building support. Identifying people you can turn to, and how to ask for help.

For teens, parents are part of the picture. Your teen's therapist can help you know how to respond, how to talk about it at home, and how to support safety without shame. Family sessions can help when it fits.

When it's time to reach out.

Reach out if you or someone you love is hurting themselves, even once, even if it seems minor. You do not have to wait until it gets worse.

You can meet with us in Wheaton, Naperville, or Geneva, or online if you live in Illinois.

What people ask us about self-injury.

Does self-injury mean someone is suicidal? Not always. Self-injury is often a way to cope rather than an attempt to die. It still deserves serious, caring attention. If you are unsure, call 911.

What should I say to my teen? Stay calm, say you care, and let them know you will get help together. You do not need perfect words.

If you or someone you love is in danger, call 911.

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